Remember Who You Were
by Gommeroi
Summary: Evan Lorne leaves Atantis and returns to Earth after his wife's death.


**Author's Notes:** This is set in my The Last Man tag verse.

**Disclaimers:** I don't own anything Stargate related. They belong to their rightful owners, I write for fun and make no money. I own the original characters.

**Beta:** This isn't betared, but I'm looking for a beta.

* * *

Lieutenant Colonel Evan Lorne was wearing his dress blues as he glanced around the ▒Gate room of Atlantis one last time. He had his two daughters; Zahina (four) and Mabeh (three) standing either side of him. Evan had the twins in their stroller. His heart was broken. It hurt to see the pain and sadness in his daughter's eyes at the loss of their mother.

Astra's body had already been sent back to Earth a few days ago. There was no one left he knew to send them off. He didn't exactly like Mr. Woolsey much and they didn't exactly get along. His friends; Colonel John Sheppard and Colonel Samantha Carter were gone. So was his brother in law Specialist Ronon Dex and his sister in law Teyla Emmagan. All had died in the battle against Michael, except Sheppard who had just disappeared.

One minuted his friend and CO was there heading back to Atlantis and then gone. Vanished. Evan knew Darcy and Cormack still grieved for the loss of their partners and sister. They'd already taken their families back to Earth and moved on from Atlantis. They were now working at the SGC. Even Drs. Rodney McKay and Jennifer Keller had packed up and left once Mr. Woolsey had taken over, and the cut backs had began. He heard one of the girls sniffle and fished for a tissue in one of his pockets.

_'Astra used to do this,'_ he thought sadly._'I'm going to be a single dad.'_

He bent down and wiped the tears from Zahina's eyes and then blew her nose.

"It's going to be alright, Zahina. It will hurt for a little while and you'll be okay," Evan murmured.

Evan pulled both girls close to him. He caught sight of the sword Excalibur that Maebh carried. The Sword had chosen Maebh after Astra's death. It was a heavy burden for one so young.

"I miss Momma," Maebh said crying.

"I miss Momma too. She's with us all the time... here," Evan said quietly, pointing to his heart. "We won't forget her and she loved all of you."

"Including you too Dadda," Zahina added, sniffling.

"Yes, including me," he replied.

Evan heard a cough behind him and the Lieutenant Colonel turned around to see who wanted to speak with him. He was astounded to see Mr. Woolsey, the new leader of Atlantis.

"Colonel Lorne, I'm sorry for your loss and what happened to Dr. Lorne. I know Dr. Lorne and I always didn't see eye to eye or agree on a lot of things. I did respect and admire her, even when we clashed. Her loss is deeply felt both here on Atlantis and Earth. Her knowledge and passion for knowledge will be greatly missed. Is there anyway I can convince you to stay?" Mr. Woolsey said softly, his hands clasped behind his back and feet slightly apart.

"No, Mr. Woolsey you can't talk me into staying. With all due respect, I just recently lost my wife. May she rest in peace. All my friends and family have either died or left Atlantis. There is nothing left for me here. I don't care what your thoughts of Astra are. You didn't know her and it's a miracle she ever forgave you for all the bad stuff you did too her," Evan said, his voice breaking and anger slipping in. He held the girl's hands tightly.

"I don't know what you mean by bad stuff, Colonel Lorne," Mr. Woolsey said confused, his eye brows furrowing.

"I remember you wanting to take Astra to area51 when you and the IOA learnt she was half Ancient and half human," Evan said curtly.

"We suggested that for her own safety," Mr. Woolsey argued.

"More like so you can experiment on her," Evan disagreed, shaking his head.

Evan was tired and he didn't want to leave Atlantis this way, fighting with Mr. Woolsey.

"Then you kidnapped and ended up experimenting on her anyway. You wondered why General O'Niell wanted to kill you. Then there was the time you wanted to take Maebh from us when she was born and kidnapped her too. It wasn't enough to just kidnap Astra, why not just kidnap our daughter too," Evan said coldly, fury lacing through his voice.

"Atlantis is no place for children and what's going on out there now in the Pegasus Galaxy only proves my point. Yet, Dr. Weir was able to convince my superiors to allow the children to stay," Mr. Woolsey said quietly.

"I will never forgive you for what you did to Astra or Maebh, I'm just glad you weren't able to do anything with Zahina and the twins. Yet, you stand here trying to tell me how sorry you're at the loss of my wife! You have some nerve!! Evan said angrily.

"Dial the 'Gate, Chuck," Evan ordered.

"Yes, sir," Chuck replied.

"Goodbye, Mr. Woolsey and I hope I never see you again," Evan said harshly.

(break)

Evan turned his back on Mr. Woolsey and walked through the wormhole. Astra probably would have chided him about the way he had spoken to Mr. Woolsey, but he didn't care. He missed her; his wife, his lover, and his friend. The On the other side he was greeted by four sombre looking men; General Jack O'Niell, Teal'c, Jonas Quinn and Dr. Daniel Jackson. Jack was wearing dress blues too, while Teal'c, Jonas and Daniel wore black suits.

"General O'Niell," Evan said, trying to get his voice under control.

"Jack, don't worry about formalities," Jack said softly.

"Sorry. Its just a habit," Evan replied.

"I'm sorry, Evan. I just don't know what else to say," Daniel said in a soft voice. He looked he had been crying. "She was amazing and she was a wonderful person."

"Yes, she was," Evan said, his head bowed and shoulders sagged.

"If we were on Chulak she would have a warrior's funeral," Teal'c said, he was standing with his arms by his side.

Maebh reached out for Jack, as Daniel helped Evan with the twins. Jack picked up Maebh and hugged her. The little girl cried on his shoulder. Teal'c offered his hand to Zahina, who accepted without a word. They left to go to Astras funeral. Jonas remained silent, too emotional to talk.

(break)

Evan was siting in the church and could barely hold it all together. Daniel, Jack, and Teal'c all said a few words, along with her brothers Cormack and Darcy, who had brought their families. When it was his turn, it was all he could do just to keep himself composed as he finished his speech, something that he hoped sounded from his heart. After Evan spoke, Maebh and Zahina read from their speech. Listening to the girls speak of their mother and how they remembered her had tears running down his cheeks. He felt someone squeeze his shoulders in comfort. Zahina and Mabeh had written their own speech and both had a bunch of Astra's favourite flowers each with a blue ribbon tied around the flowers. An Australian flag had been draped over Astra's coffin, along with the girl's flowers with a mix of Australian flowers that Evan had ordered. As he watched her coffin being lowered, her favourite song playing in the background, more tears continued to fall. Songs and music Astra liked had been played through out her service, along with the many speeches.

After the funeral there was a small gathering of family and close friends including a few remaining Tok'Ra and Jaffa that Astra had known during her time at the SGC. Food and drinks had been supplied, but no one had been in the mood to eat, though he had tried to encourage the girls to eat a few sandwiches that had been provided for them. When it was all over, it was back to working at the SGC. General Landry had given him his old office back and Evan had declined to work on a team while he settled back into work at the SGC, which the General had respected, giving Evan the time he needed.

(break)

Six months later Evan was trying to fit back into the routine at the SGC again, after spending so many years on Atlantis. His children went to day care during the day and Jack had helped him find a baby sitter for after hours. The Colonel had to buy everything again, but the Air Force had helped him cover the costs of buying furniture and relocation from Atlantis. It was a nice neighbourhood where the kids could grow up in. They were close to schools, shops, and parks. None of their new neighbours were aware that the children weren't fully human.

Evan was relieved that the girls had settled into their new life. It had been hard for all of them the first few months. The girls had never lived on Earth before, only visited. A few nights Evan had woken up to find a small child on either side of him with their arms wrapped around him. On other nights he'd woken up to hear them crying. The house was big enough for the girls to have their own room, but they had insisted on sharing. Evan had sung them to sleep or rocked them gently until they had stopped crying.

Being a single dad he found was hard, but there was sometimes had its advantages too. Some of the single parents at the day care centre, mostly the moms, had offered their help with their children. He got the same response at Zahina's ballet and at Maebh's gym classes. Evan half smiled.

"You love it and you were always such a flirt."

Evan's head snapped around, trying to find where the voice had come from.

_'I'm going insane thinking that was Astra's voice,'_ he scolded himself.

"Nope, not dreaming."

The Colonel glanced around and there was still nothing. He frowned in confusion.

"Astra leave Evan alone and allow him to grieve," her mother, Morgan Le Fay chastised.

She was pleased that Astra had decided to ascend. Yet she could sometimes stir up trouble amongst the ascended Ancients. Morgan didn't think Astra would last long being ascended, though the other's appeared to listen to her even if they weren't ready to act.

"Evan needs to move on. Our children need him, mother."

Morgan couldn't read any emotion in Astra's voice. She knew Astra missed her family like crazy and often watched them from a distance.

"It's only been six months since you ascended, Eibhleann."

Astra glanced at Morgan. "Evan needs to move and find someone new and be there for the kids. He needs to stop feeling sorry for himself and keep on living. He was never very good with his feelings. Evan is such... he's such...a...

"Guy?" Morgan offered smiling. She was fond of her son in law.

"Yes! He never shows his emotions and hides behind _"I'm a military officer and I never cry thing"_ and it drove me crazy!"

"Astra?" Evan queried softly.

Before Morgan could stop her, Astra appeared in front of Evan. His mouth dropped open and his eyes went wide.

"Astra!" Evan exclaimed, his voice breaking.

"Ev you have to stop locking yourself away! Our children need you and General Landry has offered you the position of team leader for SGA2!! You've earned it and no one is more qualified then you! Your record speaks for itself. Why didn't you take it? The offers still there and you should take it, go back out there?" Astra demanded, her hands on her hips, narrowing her eyes at him.

"I really must be going mad," Evan muttered. "Did you ascend?"

"Yes, I ascended. You saw the state of my body."

"You don't have to remind me! I'm not ready yet to move on. You are the only one for me and I don't know if I can."

_'I'm talking to my dead wife. I should see Dr. Strasser the base shrink,'_ he though.

Astra shook her head and sighed. "You've always been so stubborn, Ev. Listen to me, you need move on. Please, for our children's sake. They need you and will be lost without you."

Astra walked over and grabbed the Colonel's hand, holding them in hers. A white glow surrounded them as she showed them what could happen to their children.

"Eibhleann stop it!" Morgan commanded, appearing in the room.

"Morgan?" Evan said confused, letting go of Astras hands. Hands. Hands that felt so warm for someone who was meant to be dead.

"Ascended, Ev, not dead. I've ascended. Please listen and take head of what I'm trying to tell you. I love you," she said in French.

Before Evan could react, Astra and Morgan disappeared.

_'Was it just a dream? Was any of it real?'_ Evan asked himself. _'Wishful thinking?'_

Evan sighed. Whether it was a dream or not, he knew Astra was right. He had to get back out there again. Evan got up and headed to General Landry's office to speak with the General.


End file.
